Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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