Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
