can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
