My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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