Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
