awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
