I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
