I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
