i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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