sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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