the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
