so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Someone came in the potted fern
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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