if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
