do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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