no, he came in my armpit
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
