I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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