Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
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I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
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The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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