You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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