I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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