They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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