I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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