i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
