he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
wow bdsm is so cute
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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