Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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