hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
