I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
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The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
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Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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