You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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