Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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