yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
