3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
