Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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