how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize