if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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