he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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