my mouth tastes like poor choices
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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