If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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