You're completely useless in the revolution.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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