Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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