Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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