I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
