and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
worst night to have a conscience
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
