i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
