So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
