you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
