Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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