Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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