how do flat chested girls get laid?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
