I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
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I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
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I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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