The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
