I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
