porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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