why didn't you poke me back
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
