I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
