nut hugger
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
