I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Someone signed my nipple.
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