I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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