dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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